Facebook 101: This is What You Don't Do

As a college student, I spend a lot of time creeping on surfing Facebook. I’ve had an account since tenth grade, but really started using it regularly after I graduated from high school.

I’ve been spending less and less time on there because I’m a twitterholic all the tweenagers from MySpace have taken over and it’s starting to get really ridiculous. The only reason I haven’t deleted it is because I’m a creeper the events part of Facebook is the only way I know what programs are happening on campus.

So, for those who use Facebook, here’s my list of things you don’t do:

1.) Abuse of the caps lock button.

Example: Lee-Lee Jenkins: HAS SOME RUNNING AROUND TO DO BE BACK LATER.

Why are you screaming? Where’s the fire? There are some people on my friends list that always type in all caps and I automatically feel like you’re yelling at me. It takes me back to my childhood and I don’t like it. Don’t ever leave me alone with your computer, because I’ll repossess your caps lock key.

2.) Using a fake name.

Example: Your name is Monica Williams. Your FB name is Denise Lewis.

What girl!? I can understand not using your last name for whatever reason and just using first and middle, but completely changing your name? Who are you hiding from? Do you have warrants? If so, changing your FB name does not mean the proper authorities won’t find you. And I knew FB was becoming MySpace when names like: Alana SlickerThanYourAverage Harris started popping up on my newsfeed. SMH.

3.) Pictures your mother/grandmother/father/pastor would be ashamed of.

Example:


Maybe it’s just me, but I cringe every time I see anyone (particularly young women) with pictures of them squatting in a dress, with their butt towards the person taking the picture, giving the camera the finger. Even if your parents wouldn’t be ashamed of this, a lot of employers check FB and I doubt they’re going to want to hire you when they come across a pic of you giving a drunken lapdance, despite how good your resume is.

4.) NO DIXIE CUPS AND ALCOHOL IN YOUR PICTURES!!!

The first thing I learned when I got to college. No description necessary. ESPECIALLY if you’re underage.

5.) Arguing on someone’s status.

I see this happen so often and it’s really ridiculous. Usually, it’s two women arguing over a guy. I always want to comment and ask them: Do you realize we can see you? If it’s something that big that you need to have an argument, you should sit down like adults and discuss it. If not, let it go. You look like a fool arguing in front of your entire friends list over some guy. And at the end of the argument, nine times out of ten, he’s still messing around with both of you. So if you’re still going to put up with it, you might as well stop making yourself look dumb.

6.) Changing your status every 12 minutes.

Please get yourself a twitter. And follow me (@HighQuality08)I follow back =]

7.) Typing like a moron.

Example: Alyssa Moore: iiz liist3ninq to thaat nuu mon1ca album thaat joiint iz crazii hott Ev3rii qyrl shud list3n 2 iit!



* Tyra Banks fast blink* Even attempting to read something like this makes my head hurt. You’ve just disrespected my eyes, my brain and the rules of grammar and syntax with one (run-on) sentence. And this isn’t just 14 year-olds typing like this. I’ve seen grown people do it! Grown people with children! *weeps for the up and coming generation* Okay, I’m back, but please stop this before I cry again.

8.) Trying to be intellectual and you’re not.

Example: James Daniels: thinks we should take action against the issue that the students on are campus our so upset about instead of just conversating about it. If your not going to take action, than theirs no point in being mad.

o_O. Dude. First of all, I’m going to need you to learn the difference between your/ you’re, their/there/they’re, are/our. That’s third grade English class. Secondly, conversate isn’t a word. The word is converse.

Have you ever seen any of this ratchetness on your timeline? Leave feedback and rant below :)

#nowplaying Monica - Mirror