Beyonce's "Why Don't You Love Me" and Dealing with Sucky Relationships

Hey everyone! I’m back. And I’m doing something I thought I would never do…
*cues suspense building music*

DUN! DUN! DUN!

A Beyonce post.

*ducks tomatoes thrown by Beyonce stans.*

Hold on. Before you pop off on me, call me a hater and put a hit out on me log off my blog, I’m actually going to say something good about Mrs. Carter.

Disclaimer: I am not now, nor have I ever been a Beyonce stan. (Don’t know what a stan is? See: Eminem’s video “Stan.” That’s where the term came from.) I’m actually a bit of a Solange stan. I think she’s awesome, but I’m also a bit of a weirdo a little different that the rest.

I’m not sure if you’ve seen her new video “Why Don’t You Love Me” yet. I haven’t seen it on television yet, and I wouldn’t have known that it existed if it weren’t for Twitter.


So, the reason I decided to start this blog, is because I’m an avid blog reader. I read about 10 blogs over the course of a week. The day after this video premiered, I saw a post by a female blogger about how the message behind Beyonce’s songs are giving Black women the wrong ideas about getting and keeping a man. First of all, if you’re taking advice from a five minute music video on how to find a significant other, I’m going to need you to get your lifespace in order. Music videos are for entertainment. They are not self help videos. If that’s what you’re looking for, go watch an episode of Tough Love on VH1 to your nearest Barnes & Noble bookstore and have someone direct you to the self-help section. There are plenty of people with degrees capitalizing off of your naiveté willing to help you out.

This blogger goes on to say that Beyonce’s message behind the video is a terrible one. She says Bey’s character in the video is completely obsessed with the fact that her love interest doesn’t love her and has completely lost her mind over a man who isn’t interested in her in the least bit. The character is basically saying “I’m everything you want and need in a woman. I’m perfect. Why won’t you fall in love with me so we can live happily ever after?”

I personally have to disagree with her interpretation of the video. The moral of the story is: I’m not perfect, but I’m freakin’ awesome. I’m not sure why you don’t love me, but whatever the reason, you’re a fool. Period.

I feel like women need to hear this. How many of us have been in a relationship or ten where you and the person you’re with are so compatible, but the person either doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated, or the love just isn’t there?


*looks around the room*
*starts counting hands and quits*

Seriously, who hasn’t? There are some people who found “the one” and got it right on the first time but I ain’t talking to you the majority of us aren’t so lucky. A lot of people choose to stay in the relationship and continue to feel like something is missing, but at some point, most of us say “hey, this isn’t working,” and move on.

My interpretation: the question “Why don’t you love me?” isn’t an obsession. It isn’t a cry for help and it isn’t the first step in changing yourself so that the person you’re putting your all into will love you. It’s the first step in saying “you know what, this ain’t for me,” and doing what you have to do to make yourself happy and go after what you deserve.

A problem I did have with the video is all the uneccesary half naked-ness, but it’s Beyonce and you know that girl never saw a pair of pants she liked.

Also, is it just me, or does this video kind of remind you of Ashanti’s “Good Good” video?

#nowplaying Beyonce – Why Don’t You Love Me